THE TRANSITION!!

A transition is a change from one position, state, stage, subject, concept, etc., to another. It happens in everyday life. Infact it happens all the time. There is a transition between time now and time a second later. But what defines the transition is what you are doing in the phase before the transition and what you will do in the phase after the transition. Sometimes the transition is smooth. Sometimes its messy. One might want to stay in the pre transition phase or in the post transition phase. But the most difficult is when you try to stay in the transition itself. Its impossible to do so. Eventually you have to move on. Go to the next phase. Finally you have to complete the transition. Here is what happened when i tried to stay in the transition and refused to move on to the next phase...

I work in New Delhi. My life here is more or less defined with the time spent in my office. For me its the opposite. I have a nine hour shift at home. The rest of the time i am in office. I was in this routine which i just could not seem to break out of. Then the day came that i was to go to Bangalore for some personal work. Even that day i followed the same routine. Only i left early in the evening and managed to catch my flight just in time. The flight was at 10 pm. I landed in Bangalore at 1.30 am the following morning. It was some connecting flight that took me around half of India. I walked out of the airport and the minute i stepped on the Bangalore roads i was in my transition. My body seemed to go with the flow. But my mind was shooting back and forth. Life in Bangalore as it used to be and Life in Delhi as it was suddenly confused the HELL out of me. Going with the flow seemed the right thing to do. Not like i had much of a choice. This letting go of myself seemed quite unlike something that i would do. I was suddenly unsure of my moves. And being unsure in a city like Bangalore where i have spent 20 plus years of my life didn't make me feel any better.

The next morning was the weirdest. I didn't wake up to my morning alarm on my mobile which was quite scary. Because i woke up with a start thinking i'd slept in and was late to work. Just then my mom walked in with two glasses of hot drinking water with honey and lemon. And i was not surprised that had happened. I drank up the two glasses like it was something i did normally. Only that used to happen when i was in Bangalore. In Delhi the only thing that went into my mouth before i reached office was my tooth paste. My mind was thinking again. Then i got out of bed. Finished the routines of the morning which by far are the same no matter which city you are in. As i was getting dressed the corner of my eye caught the blinking of a small green light. I turned and saw it was a COMPUTER. My computer. I quickly jumped onto it. My mind had scrolled back to the time i used to work through it. It had entered the MY PICTURES folder even before i had turned the computer on. I put it on. I checked if there was net connectivity. There was. So i decided to send all the pictures and files that i wanted from this computer to my mail account. So that i could access them from Delhi. I had some many songs which i decided to burn. In all my excitement and my endless list of what i wanted to do i hadn't noticed that i had logged into my company mail account. And was suddenly shocked to see that instead of doing all that i said i would i was accessing and replying to work mails. Damn the TRANSITION!!

Over my next few days slowly but surely i stepped out of the transition and stepped into the new phase. My life in Bangalore. It was not easy or sudden. It happened after me constantly checking my company mail account from various internet parlours. Or from my friends laptops when i met them. But it happened. And i began enjoying my stay without having to think or feel weird about anything. And before i knew it i was thoroughly enjoying my time in Bangalore. Until the day came that i had to leave. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen... We come to the next TRANSITION.

The sunday i was leaving began wrongly. I had hardly slept but was wide awake. I had to meet some more people before i left but i forgot to call them. Instead i just spent time at home. Doing what i still am trying to figure out. Then i packed and left. Usually i would have someone who would come with me to the airport. But somehow no one was there on that sunday. So i walked up to the end of the road to catch a rickshaw. My mind was beginning to think weird things again. I was in Bangalore where me going alone to the airport would just not happen. But in Delhi this was the only way it happened. Confusion began. Mind and body went into this uncoordinated sort of dance. Then at the airport i took my boarding pass only to find out that my flight was delayed. In Delhi, if this happened then i would walk into the book store and pick something to read. But then again i was in Bangalore. Something stopped me from doing so. Suddenly Forl messaged saying that she was coming to the airport to see me. She came and we killed time talking absolute rubbish sitting on the foot path in the parking lot of the airport. Very Bangalore i must say for me. But then again i was on my way to Delhi. AHHHHHHHH!!

Then Forl left and i boarded my flight. I tried sleeping on the flight. Managed quite well. But when i woke up i was in a bad mood. I dunno why. As we landed the pilot announced that the temperature outside was 39 degrees. 39 DEGREES at 10.30 in the night?? I had forgotten the Delhi summer had begun. The last 10 days i had lived in the temperature controlled comfort of Bangalore. I walked out of the flight with a mournful mood. The chaos began. In Bangalore for one to take his luggage and get out of the airport would be a 15 minute process. It seemed like i was in a bigger city for the first time and was shocked to see the crowds. It took me half an hour just to get hold of my bags much after i decided to fight the crowd and reach the conveyor belt which brought in the luggage. Then i walked out of the airport only to walk straight back in. In Bangalore i would walk out and someone would be there to pick me up. In Delhi there was no one and i had to take a pre paid taxi home. I did so. My mind yet again was confused. I had to meet a friend for dinner. Went straight to where she was. Dropped the luggage and went to a small Goan restaurant and had a nice friendly dinner. Good food. Good company. No Jazz. Very Bangalore. But i was in Delhi. Oh man...

I reached home and rang the bell. Only to realise that my mom wouldn't open the door. I was in Delhi. I lived alone. I opened the door and walked in. Then i changed. Dumped my bags in the room. Jumped on to my bed and put the TV on. I fell asleep in the heat with the TV blaring and the fan adding on like an irritating mosquito.

The next morning i woke up with a start. I had slept in...